Everyone knows that ‘The Football League Show’ is a load of old rubbish. From Steve Claridge’s unjustified arrogance and Manish Bhasin’s wooden presenting to the misplaced enthusiasm of Lizzie Greenwood-Hughes and Mark Clemmit, it’s a show that frustrates constantly. But people still watch it, despite its sheer awfulness, because it shows all the goals. So, how do I propose to make the viewing experience of ‘The Football League Show’ that little less painful? By introducing a drinking game for the aforementioned show, of course.
It may seem like I’m offering less value for money here – given that the article is just a glorified collection of tweets, made by myself and other bloggers – but such an idea needs to have a compendium. If you haven’t seen the show before, then may I introduce you to the embedded YouTube clip below. It should convince you that such a game needs to exist.
The rules are simple. Just watch the show at ‘a quarter to midnight’ and whenever something that is included in five lists occurs, take a drink. To prevent liver damage, I recommend that you only follow one of the five lists. Remember, this is just a bit of fun and this list shouldn’t be taken seriously; it’s satire more than anything. You’d probably be hospitalised for alcohol positioning, if you actually played this game.
With that over, I shall introduce you to the lists – one for each of the four presenters and one for the show itself.
The Show
• Drink a shot whenever someone looks incredibly smug, for supporting a lower-league side, in the opening titles. Also, add another shot if they jump at the same time.
• Drink a shot for every keepy-uppy that is performed in the opening montage. (Submitted by ‘The Reality Rant’)
• Drink a rum and coke every time there is an element of bias towards Leeds United and Newcastle United.
• Down two shots every time the commentator mentions that a player has scored against their former club.
• Drink any drink every time past encounters between the two sides, who are included in the highlights, are mentioned.
• Down two shots whenever Lizzie and Manish look like they are flirting, when they meet up at the desk after Manish closes the show.
Manish Bhasin
• Down a shot when Manish gives out a statistic, at the start of the show. Add another shot if this statistic is about the number of goals that have been scored.
• Drink any drink every time Manish says “yeah”, whenever Lizzie or Steve have finished a sentence.
• Down a shot when Manish starts delivering a line, whilst staring into the wrong camera. (Submitted by ‘The Reality Rant’)
• Down a glass of wine when Manish makes his annoying interlude in the middle of ‘Match of the Day’. (Submitted by ‘The Reality Rant’)
• Also, during this interlude, you may jug an extra bit of wine if Manish says ‘The Football League Show’ is on at a “quarter to midnight”.
Steve Claridge
• Down any drink, straight-away, whenever Claridge mentions a player that he’s played alongside. (Submitted by ‘Gary Andrews’)
• Down a shot whenever Leroy Rosenior acts as a stand-in for Steve or appears as a co-pundit.
• Down two drinks every time Steve mentions a player he played alongside or against, whilst he was player-manager at Weymouth.
• Down a double vodka, each time Steve looks at his notes. (Submitted by ‘The Reality Rant’)
• Double vodkas all round, whenever Steve says a player and/or a club has not had an easy time in the past.
• Down any spirit whenever Steve says a team has “spirit”. (Submitted by ‘The Reality Rant’)
• Drink all of the drinks cabinet every time Steve mentions his managerial career.
Mark Clemmit
• Have a sip of your drink every time Mark mentions the year when a club was formed.
• Down a shot every time Mark exaggerates his words to make it sound like it contains an extra syllable.
• Drink any drink when Mark bounces up to any Football League club manager like a long lost friend (Submitted by ‘Footyphila Plus’)
• Down a shot when Mark utilises the smart jumper and shirt combination. Add another shot, if he also wearing a pair of jeans and add a further one if he is wearing white trainers.
• Drink any drink whenever Mark says a wacky and/or obscure fact, usually relating to the folklore of the club or the town/city.
• Drink any two drinks whenever Mark walks around the stadium’s terrace/stands and add a further drink when he touches a trophy that the club has won.
• Drink any three drinks whenever Mark feigns annoyance at having to schlep off somewhere remote. (Submitted by ‘Narrow the Angle’)
Lizzie Greenwood-Hughes
• Drink any drink whenever Lizzie has to read out a bloody awful email saying that “Team X are going up” and/or “Manager X should be sacked”. (Submitted by ‘The Carvalho Peninsula’)
• Down two shots whenever Lizzie fumbles around her papers. Add an extra shot if she also goes ‘erm’, at the same time.
• Drink a cocktail every time Lizzie asks Steve a question that has come from a viewer.
• Down the drink, that you are holding, each time Lizzie reads out a hoax email.
• Down three shots if Lizzie mentions that they’ve had an influx of email from supporters of one particular club.
• Down four shots whenever Jacqui Oatley stands-in for Lizzie.
• Drink a bottle of gin when David Garrido acts as a stand-in replacement for Lizzie. (Submitted by ‘The Reality Rant’).
Seeing that the Football League season has recently started, it seems like the perfect opportunity to present the 15 most obscure imports ever to appear in League Two. The Premiership, the Championship and League One have already been covered, but you must never forget about League Two.
As always, the rules are simple. As long as the potential contenders are not recognisable by your bog-standard football fan, they’re eligible. You are likely to be astounded by obscurity of the final fifteen, as only the most obsessive football fan will remember them. Forget about Julian Johnsson, Alex Calvo Garcia, Warren Goodhind, and the deadly Jamaican combo of Theodore Whitmore and Ian Goodison. The below fifteen players are the real deal.
Statistics:
Club – Oxford United (2005)
Position – Midfielder
League appearances whilst playing in League Two (goals scored) – 16 (1)
Cup appearances whilst playing in League Two (goals scored) – 0 (0)
One of the benefits of doing a list like this, is that I get to re-introduce Ramon Diaz’s foreign legion during his ill-fated spell at Oxford United. Juan Pablo Raponi, Mateo Corbo, Amine Karam and Diaz’s son Emiliano were just some of the signings; but Lucas Cominelli is the man to talk about.
The Kassam Stadium wasn’t the first English port of call for Cominelli as he previously spent an unhappy period at Newcastle United. He failed to impress Sir Bobby Robson, despite making appearances for their reserves, and a trial spell at Carlisle United was equally unsuccessful.
Statistics:
Club – Leyton Orient (1998-2000)
Position – Striker
League appearances whilst playing in League Two (goals scored) – 41 (13)
Cup appearances whilst playing in League Two (goals scored) – 10 (1)
Bicycle-kick specialist Amara Simba is the kind of striker you would expect to sign for a club whilst on holiday. Simba exactly did that, when he signed a contract with Leyton Orient in October 1998, after training with the Brisbane Road outfit to keep fit during his holiday. It was seen as a real coup as Simba’s former clubs included Monaco and Lille; and Simba was also called up to the French international squad for Euro 92, only for the striker to withdraw after sustaining a fractured fibula in training.
Simba did not disappoint, as he made an immediate impact by scoring on his début against Exeter and scored 10 goals in 27 league games during the 1998-1999 season. Although Simba had dry spells during that season (including failing to score in 11 matches), he remains a cult favourite to this day and inspired the East London club to a play-off final appearance against Scunthorpe.
The decision to drop down a division proved to be inspired, as he scored 13 goals in 20 games for Kingstonian which included scored the winning goal in the 2000 FA Trophy Final against Kettering Town. Since then, Simba failed to reach with heights he achieved with Orient as short spells at St Albans, Kettering Town and Billericay Town proved to be less memorable; before he eventually retiring at the grand age of 41.
Statistics:
Club – Cambridge United (2004)
Position – Defender
League appearances whilst playing in League Two (goals scored) – 0 (0)
Cup appearances whilst playing in League Two (goals scored) – 0 (0)
You rarely get footballers who have not only played in League Two, but have also faced clubs like Valencia, Rangers and Manchester United in the Champions League. But then, Gilbert Prilasnig is no ordinary footballer.
However, in order to rebuild his fitness after suffering a cruciate ligament injury at former club FC Karnten, Prilasnig took the offer to join former Senegal coach Claude le Roy at Abbey Stadium in 2004. Supporters would’ve been disappointed that Prilasnig failed to make a single appearance for the U’s, but it was an important move for Prilasnig personally – even if he later admitted that he did not benefit from the move, footballing-wise.
After spells at Polish club Miedz Legnica and DSV Leoben, Prilasnig is currently playing his trade in the Austrian Regional League East with SV Horn.
12. Naim Uka
Statistics:
Club – Leyton Orient (2000-2002)
Position – Midfielder
League appearances whilst playing in League Two (goals scored) – 0 (0)
Cup appearances whilst playing in League Two (goals scored) – 0 (0)
Naim Uka may not have made a first-team appearance for Leyton Orient, but his tenure in English football provides a unique and memorable story. Uka was initially tipped to be a major footballing force when he signed for Albanian outfit Partiza as a 15-year-old, but his life was turned upside down in 1998 when his family disappeared and his family home was blown up during a Serb attack.
Uka’s two-month search for his family proved to be fruitless, and he soon escaped from the terror in Kosovo when he moved to South Wales via a Macedonian truck. He had nothing apart from a small amount of money, a selection of t-shirts and some football boots. Initially, Uka was banned from working in the UK for six months, but his hostel manager alerted the FA of Uka’s talents and agent Richard Cody quickly signed him up.
Whilst Uka did not make a single appearance for Leyton Orient, he seemed like a decent prospect and it was disappointing that he was released from his contract in 2002. Obscure Music and Football wish Uka all the best, whatever he is doing now.
Statistics:
Club – Leyton Orient (1996-1997)
Position – Midfielder
League appearances whilst playing in League Two (goals scored) – 4 (0)
Cup appearances whilst playing in League Two (goals scored) – 0 (0)
Bjorn Heidenstrom is another former Leyton Orient player with a big heart and a big story. Unlike Uka, however, it is his post-footballing career that he is most famous for. In a successful bid to raise awareness for the Norwegian Refugee Council and the UN High Commissioner for Refugees (UNHCR), Heidenstrom and Justin Walley went on a 11-month cycling trip.
The trip started at Oslo and finished at the 2010 World Cup in South Africa, and they covered 35 countries with the aim of collecting signed football shirts. In order to symbolise unity and passion for football and refugees, several clubs from Manchester United and Barcelona to Oldham Athletic and Sheffield United chipped in.
It’s fair to say that this has overshadowed Heidenstrom’s footballing career. After spells with Odd Greenland and Lillestrom, the Norwegian midfielder joined Leyton Orient on a non-contract basis in December 1996. He made four appearances for them, but it was not enough to gain a permanent contract and he left the O’s in January 1997. After spells at Tollnes, Uraedd and Heroya; Heidenstrom retired to become an administrator for Norwegian side Valerenga.
Statistics:
Club – Hartlepool United (1997-2002)
Position – Goalkeeper
League appearances whilst playing in League Two (goals conceded) – 118 (146)
Cup appearances whilst playing in League Two (goals conceded) – 15 (27)
It is rare that you find an obscure player that was actually good, but Norwegian ‘keeper Martin Hollund was one of those few players. Hollund became a regular fixture at Hartlepool United during his five-year spell at the club, after he replaced loanee Steve Harper in November 1997.
Statistics:
Club – Yeovil Town (2003-2004)
Position – Defender
League appearances whilst playing in League Two (goals scored) – 34 (1)
Cup appearances whilst playing in League Two (goals scored) – 4 (0)
He also managed to play against Liverpool in FA Cup, the club that he supported as a boy, but his good performance was tainted when he was judged to have brought down Kewell and a penalty was given. Danny Murphy converted the penalty to give Liverpool a 2-0 victory, but a bitter row emerged when Rodrigues accused Kewell of diving.
Statistics:
Club – Lincoln City (2000)
Position – Midfielder
League appearances whilst playing in League Two (goals scored) – 7 (0)
Cup appearances whilst playing in League Two (goals scored) – 2 (1)
Winger Marcus Stergiopoulos could happily be described as the Australian Steve Claridge, Trevor Benjamin or Benito Carbone when you look at the number of clubs he’s been at. In total Stergiopoulos has been with 13 different clubs, and this does not include his three spells with Morwell Falcons or the number of clubs he’s been on trial with.
Despite interest from Belgian sides, Stergiopoulos decided to sign for Lincoln City on a three-month contract. He had ambitions to play at a higher-level, and he showed signs that he could do this when he scored a fantastic right-footed finished against Sheffield United in the League Cup. It may have been the winner in the second-leg, but it couldn’t stop the Imps from losing 6-1 on aggregate.
Stergiopoulos gained many admirers at Sincil Bank with his exciting displays, but his contract was not extended and he soon returned to Australia. The talented winger is still playing for Dandenong Thunder SC and is also working as a National Advertising Executive for a sports publishing company. It is unknown whether the veteran still has time for his other life-long passions: jet-skiing and Pamela Anderson.
Statistics:
Club – Darlington (1997-1998); Hartlepool United (1998-2000)
Position – Midfielder
League appearances whilst playing in League Two (goals scored) – 36 (4)
Cup appearances whilst playing in League Two (goals scored) – 6 (1)
Gustavo Di Lella: the forgotten footballer of the North East. Di Lella originally made a name for himself during Blyth Spartans’ battling 4-3 defeat to Blackpool, where he had scored an outstanding goal for Blyth. Di Lella soon made the short trip to Darlington and, although he failed to impress for the Quakers, a transfer to Hartlepool United beckoned just a few months later.
Despite this, and being fined two weeks wages for the incident, Di Lella remained at the club and the temperamental Argentine winger was destined to spend the rest of his days at Victoria Park on the bench. Di Lella may have scored in a League Cup tie with Crewe Alexandra in August 1999, but he was released after the 1999-2000 season.
Statistics:
Club – Kidderminster Harriers (2003-2004)
Position – Striker
League appearances whilst playing in League Two (goals scored) – 38 (1)
Cup appearances whilst playing in League Two (goals scored) – 5 (0)
Kidderminster Harriers fans must have thought that manager Jan Molby had unearthed a gem in Jesper Christiansen, after he made an excellent début in the shock 1-1 draw against Wolves in the FA Cup. Both Christiansen and fellow striker Bo Henrisken didn’t score in the match, but they gave defenders Mark Clyde and Jody Craddock a torrid time in defence. After this performance, it was expected that Christiansen would prove to be a real bargain.
Statistics:
Club – Rotherham United (1999-2001)
Position – Defender
League appearances whilst playing in League Two (goals scored) – 42 (3)
Cup appearances whilst playing in League Two (goals scored) – 6 (0)
Brian Wilsterman is an odd one. He’s one of the few players on the list to have played at a higher level (for Oxford United, who bizarrely bought the central defender for £200,000 in February 1997 to partner Darren Purse) but his place on this list is deserved for his inexcusably poor distribution and his clumsy ways.
Statistics:
Club – Chester City (2006)
Position – Goalkeeper
League appearances whilst playing in League Two (goals conceded) – 8 (15)
Cup appearances whilst playing in League Two (goals conceded) – 2 (3)
Stephane Gillet is a goalkeeper who is used to conceding goals. After all, his 20 international caps for Luxembourg have included defeats by Russia (5-1), Hungary (5-1), Yugoslavia (6-2) and Israel (5-0). Gillet is a man who is also used to losing, as he has been defeated by Estonia and the Faroe Islands in international matches. Therefore, the ideal place for Gillet to play his trade and to display his talents was at the Deva Stadium.
Statistics:
Club – Mansfield Town (1998-1999)
Position – Defender
League appearances whilst playing in League Two (goals scored) – 4 (0)
Cup appearances whilst playing in League Two (goals scored) – 0 (0)
Statistics:
Club – Peterborough United (1997-2000)
Position – Midfielder
League appearances whilst playing in League Two (goals scored) – 2 (0)
Cup appearances whilst playing in League Two (goals scored) – 0 (0)
There are many players who excelled in Championship Manager, but failed to make the tiniest of splashes in the real footballing world. Anders Koogi was one of those unlucky men. Koogi joined Peterborough United from Canary Rangers in his early teens and, alongside Matthew Etherington and Simon Davies, became a staple in the Posh youth sides.
Statistics:
Club – Cambridge United (2004-2005)
Position – Midfielder
League appearances whilst playing in League Two (goals scored) – 13 (0)
Cup appearances whilst playing in League Two (goals scored) – 2 (0)
Kingsley Mbome is a name that will forever be remembered by Cambridge United fans, but is forgotten by everyone else. United fans will still be scratching their heads at how a player who was a youth player for Saint-Etienne, spent seven months on the books of Celtic and played for Sheffield United’s reserves for two years was so poor for them. However, for a player who admired Darren Quinton, this was always going to happen.
After falling out of love with the game (much like Obscure Music and Football favourite Adrian Coote), Mbome combined playing for French amateur side Gap with studying science at college. The versatile Cameroon midfielder soon found a way back into professional football, and signed for the U’s after rejecting offers from second division French sides.
If you’re still wanting more from the vaults of obscurity in League Two, then I can provide you with embedded YouTube videos. The one below provides all of the action in League Two, from Saturday October 12th 1998. There’s plenty of obscure highlights, and includes several lower-league legends from Lee Glover and Jason Fowler to Lee Martin and Jon Sheffield. Martin Hollund even makes an appearance within the first ten seconds! What more could you want?
Sheffield Wednesday started their bid to make an instant return to the Championship yesterday with a comfortable 2-0 victory over League One new boys Dagenham & Redbridge. The Owls took an early lead in the 13th minute after Giles Coke’s striker was deflected from Daggers defender Scott Doe. The South Yorkshire outfit carried piling the pressure on and two minutes later, Clinton Morrison doubled Wednesday’s lead with a close-range shot, that was well struck.
Wednesday could have increased their lead during a fine first-half display, which saw some magnificent touches, but Morrison and Marcus Tudgay were denied by 41-year old Daggers ‘keeper Tony Roberts. Although Wednesday failed to reach the high standards they set in the second half, they never looked like being troubled by a battling Dagenham & Redbridge side. It may have been a different story if Romain Vindelot hadn’t wasted his first-half opportunities or if Jon Nurse hadn’t hit the upright of the bar late in the game; but the Daggers never looked like having the attacking flair to beat Nicky Weaver for a consolation.
Sheffield Wednesday daggered Dagenham and Redbridge in the first-half
This summer has seen a number of changes at Hillsborough, with nine new arrivals at S6, but one of the key changes seen on the pitch is the increased emphasis on using the flanks. This was always going to be a key change, as the club spent the summer widening the pitch at Hillsborough and had purchased experienced wingers Chris Sedgwick and Gary Teale on free transfers from Preston North End and Derby County respectively.
In previous seasons, use of the attacking flanks was sporadic as attacks were often based in the centre of midfield. In fact, for most of the last season, there was limited tactical awareness at Hillsborough; as the long-ball tactic was often deployed and in midfield, the ball was often passed to the nearest available player. Sheffield Wednesday’s performances also lacked fluency and were often disjointed, as they were often looked like the players were making things up as the went along. This lead to the side’s style of play lacking direction, with very few players having even the slightest idea of what their role in the side was.
Some players often ran around the pitch aimlessly and with little purpose, whilst some of the more able players were often left isolated and had to frustratingly play deeper to be involved. Therefore, the side rarely looked settled and were short of chemistry and communication. Several clueless performances led to a deep crisis of confidence within the club, and many of the club’s long-suffering supporters were not surprised when Sheffield Wednesday were relegated to League One at the end of last season.
With Wednesday’s game desperately lacking width and flair, the acquisitions of Teale and Sedgwick were eagerly anticipated at S6. Both players did not disappoint on Saturday and were often the main focus of the attacks. Wednesday’s creativity and their fine first-half showing was enhanced by the two new arrivals creating chances.
Teale and Sedgwick displayed encouraging movement on and off the ball, with excellent delivery of crosses and good general fitness. They may not be the fastest wingers in the world but their work ethic more than made up for it, and they managed to cause havoc as a struggling Dagenham & Redbridge defence was unable to deal with their flair.
A new partner for Tudgay
What was even more impressive, was how well strikers Clinton Morrison and Marcus Tudgay linked up with Teale and Sedgwick to create some outstanding build-up play during the match. The tactic used by Irvine was that Morrison and Tudgay would be playing the role of an out-and-out striker, where they would drop deep to pass to either Sedgwick and Teale; and the two wingers would then deliver the ball to a player in the penalty area.
It is not only a tactic that is ideally suited to the Wednesday’s striking contingency, who have never been naturally predatory goalscorers, but it has led to some of the most patient and pressing attacks seen at S6 in years. There is now some thought behind their attacks; they are no longer attacking for the sake of attacking. It has some purpose behind it and there is now an underlying aim to score.
The previously untested partnership with Tudgay and Morrison also showed promise, as the two strikers were developing a good mutual understanding of each other. Out of the two strikers, Morrison is the player that presses forward more, but he is equally comfortable with playing deeper in midfield. He has a natural confidence and physical presence that has been sorely missed at S6, and he will bring some much-needed morale to the squad and fans. His first-half goal was a classic goal-poacher’s finisher, and showed that he could be a prolific finisher for Sheffield Wednesday this season.
Morrison also looks like being a good foil for Tudgay, who gave a much-improved account of himself on Saturday. The former Derby County forward showed some interesting off-the-ball movement, and some encouraging headers and flick-ons. Tudgay managed to create some good chances for Morrison in the first half, and they seemed to complement each other well.
As Morrison plays further up-field than Tudgay does, it gave Tudgay the chance to play deeper in midfield – a role that he has always been more comfortable with. He can now concentrate more on supporting Morrison rather than feeling pressured in leading the front-line, and having a regular striking partner should help Tudgay to feel more settled. This is particularity important, as Tudgay is a player whose form is so dependent on high confidence levels.
A new Coke that will last
Although the centre of midfield is no longer the focus of Wednesday’s attacking player, it looks set to still play a pivotal role after Giles Coke’s arrival from Motherwell this summer. The highly talented midfielder looks like being an influential figure in the middle of the park, and could well be this season’s lynch-pin for the Owls.
Coke adds a much-needed element of dynamism and athleticism to Wednesday’s stagnating midfield, as his play screams variety. He is willing to ping long passes to defenders, diagonal passes to attacking players and moving effectively all other the pitch. The former Mansfield Town favourite does not work hard for the sake of working hard, as his end result is usually making the breakthrough pass that unlocks and frustrates defences.
Coke has a natural understanding of the game (which often cannot be learnt) and, although he was guilty of some sloppy passing in the second-half, he has the potential to be one of the most complete and intelligent midfielders seen at S6 in years.
There’s room for improvement, though, as Wednesday peaked too early
However, there are still areas in which Sheffield Wednesday’s attacks could improve. Their full-backs, Tommy Spurr and Lewis Buxton, gave improved performances in defence but their offensive play left a lot to be desired. Their positional awareness was decent enough, but their first touch was very poor and they could do worse than spending time on improving their crossing. With such poor distribution levels, their impact offensively was minimal.
When you consider the amount of time they spent in attacking positions, Sheffield Wednesday could have created even more chances if Teale and Sedgwick had been more involved in set-plays that Buxton and Spurr contributed to. One solution is to limit their contributions to defence but, as this would limit the Owls’ creativity, a better option would be for manager Alan Irvine to start Jon Otsemobor and Daniel Jones more often. The inclusion of Jones, in particular, has to happen sooner rather than later, when you consider his excellent left foot and delivery of the ball.
After so much promise, it was disappointing to see the South Yorkshire side fade, as Dagenham & Redbridge stepped up their game and the Owls started to go off the boil. This may have been down to complacency, as their build-up plays lasted far too long in midfield – which meant that possession was often lost in the final third. The killer through-ball was also missing, and the widened pitch may have led to some Wednesday players being burnt out far too early. It may take some time for the side to get fully used to the new pitch – especially as players like Morrison are not currently fully match-fit – and fans will need to be patient until Sheffield Wednesday really start hitting their stride.
What was impressive, however, was the players’ attitudes. Dagenham & Redbridge started to get more involved the game, in the second-half, but Sheffield Wednesday did not let their heads go down. They carried on trying to play the game and to create chances when they could. If this was a game from last season, the Owls could have allowed the Daggers a way back into the game but Saturday showed more determination and positivity. They do not look like being the light-weights they were last season.
Where are the super-subs?
If Sheffield Wednesday are going to challenge for automatic promotion, then Irvine needs to start using his substitutions more tactically and to adapt the style of play to suit his substitutes. Darren Potter’s passing, for example, lacked the imagination of Coke’s display and lead to several attacks that were easily broken-down by Dagenham & Redbridge.
Neil Mellor also looked desperately out-of-place on Saturday, as he looked far from comfortable in playing as an out-and-out striker. Mellor is clearly a target man and looks a beast up-front, so it was clear that Mellor was not suited to playing in the same role as Tudgay and Morrison did. Too many of Mellor’s passes to Teale went astray and his lack of fitness meant that both Teale and Mellor had to backtrack deep into midfield to support each other. Subsequently, Wednesday could not threaten the Daggers as much as they did in the first-half.
The late introduction of Daniel Jones was the perfect example of how bringing in the right player for the right system can revitalise the side; and Irvine needs to learn to choose the right players when making substitutes or to change the style of play if he cannot. Otherwise, his talented set of players will not reach their full potential over the course of the season.
The Daggers were blunted
Dagenham & Redbridge approached the tie positively and their attacking football showed some nice touches, but their tactics on Saturday were reminiscent of Sheffield Wednesday last season. They failed to have a consistent game-plan and spent most of their time aimlessly passing the ball around, failing to make the most of some promising spells of pressure. The consequence of this was hat they had little ideas on how to break-down Wednesday’s attacks, with many of their forward play being off-the-cuff.
Also, none of the players had a clearly defined role so many of the players looked like they were unsure what they were supposed to be doing. Some players like Peter Gain and Gavin Tomlin may have worked tirelessly but without a game plan, it was fruitless. This also had the effect of isolating their most talented player in Paul Benson, who showed some prolific spells last season for the Daggers in League Two. And when they did have a game-plan, in playing to the flanks, inaccurate crossing ensured that Benson remained a lonely figure up-front.
The stumbling-block for the Victoria Park outfit was that Wednesday’s central defence pairing of Mark Beevers and Darren Purse can effectively deal with attacking threats that are areal, so Dagenham’s tactics were never going to have a large effect on the game.
What players like Gain should have done, was to have tucked into the penalty area from the wings and to have kept the ball on the ground. Purse and Beevers are players that are far less comfortable, when dealing with short passes in the penalty area and the threat of Benson would have been far more prominent if this had happened.
Dagenham & Redbridge’s attempts to be a fluent attacking force in the first-half were hindered by veteran goalkeeper Tony Robert’s appalling distribution levels. The number of goal-kicks Roberts had in the first half was approaching double-figures, and nearly every single one was hit with power, no accuracy and to a Wednesday defender. This limited the potential of an attacking breakthrough for the Daggers, and may have been a reason why their attacking play was so muddled. It was no coincidence that Dagenham improved in the second-half, when Roberts was not taking as many goal-kicks.
There’s still plenty of time…
Ultimately, if a promoted side wants to avoid a relegation, than an effective back-line is a necessity. If a side’s foundations are build an a solid defence, they will be more likely to pick-up points when it is least expected. However, the Daggers’ defensive display was nervous at best, and they clearly struggle to cope with the Hillsborough’s width.
Not only did the defence lack pace and positional awareness, but they looked intimated by the Owls’ forward runs and looked scared to make the last-ditch tackle that was needed. However, the second-half saw a more organised performance, and their defence had holes that were less gaping.
Dagenham & Redbridge may have the will to battle, but their tactics desperately need changing. They have the potential to be effective on the counter-attack, but their play must have more urgency and pro-activity if they are to survive in League One. This league will be a big step up for John Still’s side and, whilst it may be one that is too big for them, they can take solace in the improbability of them being League One’s whipping-boys.
‘Three Lions’ by David Baddiel and Frank Skinner with The Lightning Seeds remains one of the most universally loved football songs, 15 years after it was first released.
The original version and the 1998 re-recorded version both reached number one and are still beloved in England. Both versions are musically similar but they are, in fact, two different songs with very different meanings and attitudes when analysed.
Both versions of ‘Three Lions’ incorporated this famous line, but they use it in completely different contexts. Euro 96 was held in England, so the phrase “football’s coming home” symbolised the tournament coming to England – the home of football. The lyric celebrated the fact that the tournament was being held in England and some of the world’s finest players were playing in some of England’s most famous stadiums.
The song was not just a celebration of English football, as it was also celebrating a whole spectrum of cultures sharing the Euro 96 experience together. It was not solely about winning the tournament – as it was also about taking part, playing good football, having hope and being proud of your country. It had a complex meaning and it could be interpreted in more ways than one.
World Cup 98, however, was held in France. This gave a completely different meaning to “football’s coming home”, in the 1998 version of ‘Three Lions’. No longer was the song about Euro 96 coming to England and hoping to win, but it was about the sheer expectancy of winning the World Cup.
Rather than bringing a football tournament back to its spiritual home, the song was just about England winning the World Cup. The humility seen in the original ‘Three Lions’, therefore, disappeared in the 1998 version, as there was now an expectancy to win. The worshipping of Alan Shearer and Paul Ince, rather than Geoff Hurst and Bobby Moore, in the re-recorded version saw this.
This could be more than just a coincidence, though. England, before Euro 96, failed to qualify for the 1994 World Cup and made an early exit during Euro 92. They were seen as underachievers and – in the original version of ‘Three Lions’ – Baddiel and Skinner thrived on the “under-dog” tag. They knew that England would disappoint but their hopes were built on past heroes and achievements, rather than the current squad. They did not blindly think that England would win – as their dreams were built on hope, pride and determination. It was not a case of following England, just because they were tipped to do well.
The 1998 version of ‘Three Lions’, however, showed that England supporters may have been spoilt by their semi-final appearance during Euro 96. The expectancy, suddenly, was on winning the World Cup, no matter what had happened in the past. Everything else, apart from winning the World Cup in 1998, was shrugged off as irrelevant. Rather than singing about ”thirty years of hurt, never stopped me dreaming” in 1996, Baddiel and Skinner were now singing ”no more years of hurt, no more need for dreaming”.
“Bobby belting the ball and Nobby dancing…”
The level of detail in the two songs and videos are also very different. It is such a great difference that these two songs could represent two different kinds of supporters.
The 1996 version of ‘Three Lions’, for example, had a greater awareness of the history of the English football than in the 1998 version. This can be seen in the name-dropping of several England legends during the verses:
“So many jokes, so many sneers
But all those oh-so nears
When your down, through the years
But I still see that tackle by Moore
And when Lineker scored
Bobby belting the ball
And Nobby dancing”
It is far more aware of the history and heritage of the side, as they always mentioned players from the past. The video shows nostalgia, as well, due to the video’s “Roy of the Rovers” feel and Ian Broudie’s replica 1966 England shirt.
The video portrays three people who are obsessed with their own side and only care about them, as no other teams are given a second thought. They live and dream for them, whether they are at the match or not, and they are knowledgeable about the club’s heritage and culture. And they will stick by the side, no matter what, as they are used to the inevitable disappointment with a healthy amount of cynicism and belief.
When you compare it to the lyrics of the 1998 version, the difference is striking:
“Talk about football coming home
And then one night in Rome
We were strong, we had grown
And now I see
Ince ready for war
Gazza good as before
Shearer certain to score
And Psycho screaming”
In contrast to the 1996 version, every player mentioned – in the above verse – was a current England international. This is likely to be the case because it was a sequel – and mentioning the likes of Tony Daley, Carlton Palmer and Tony Dorigo would have made less of an impact – and it is also similar to how Premier League supporters are. The mood is far more optimistic and the willingness to win is far more urgent, with the main focus being on the present rather than the past. The song, as a consequence, feels far less observational and sincere.
The attitude seen in the video is very different, too. The video is set in France – showing the match’s build-up rather than showing the range of emotions whilst watching the match – and it has a cockier and more chauvinistic feel. This is shown by the usage of the highly publicised ‘Kuntz’ joke, which trivialises the historical rivalry with the German national side. The video portrays a bunch of middle-class supporters who are going to France to have a laugh, rather than to watch football.
“But I know they can play, ’cause I remember…”
In the defence of the 1998 version of ‘Three Lions’, the lyrics had to be different as it was a sequel. It was just a shame that this was the only way it could be done. It ended up being a soulless and arrogant re-recording, as it failed to grasp the grassroots of football. It is not anyone’s fault, as ‘Three Lions’ is one of these songs that could have only worked at one specific time and any other re-recording would have had diminishing returns.
The original version – despite many modern football songs being similar to the 1998 version of ‘Three Lions’ – still strikes a chord. It benefited from having genuine sincerity and saying what the fans on the terraces really felt. It was recorded for true football fans, by true football fans.
The failing of the re-recording of ‘Three Lions’ was that it was overly smug, as the song could only work if the focus was not just on winning the tournament. The original version worked, because it was the right song at the right place and time; the concept of singing “football’s coming home” made sense in 1996.
The real legacy of the two versions of ‘Three Lions’, though, is that even the most passionate and loyal football supporter can turn into a narcissistic one, after briefly flirtingwith success. Let’s hope that this never becomes a plague.
To commiserate Sheffield Wednesday’s sad relegation to League One, and to celebrate the obscurity of the aforementioned league, here is the list of the 15 most obscure imports ever to appear in League 1.
Like the Premiership and Championship lists, the rules are simple. As long as they are obscure (obviously), were signed during a club’s tenure in League One and do not hold cult (see Dirk Lehmann) or outstanding international credentials (see Mark Watson, Andre Arendse, Vitaly Astafjevs and Baichung Bhutia) they are eligible. Several dozens of obscure foreign imports have been whittled down to just 15 so let’s get on with the countdown.
Statistics:
Club – Stoke City (1999)
Position – Midfielder
League appearances whilst playing in League One (goals scored) – 8 (0)
Cup appearances whilst playing in League One (goals scored) – 4 (0)
It would be unfair to start the list off without mentioning a member of Stoke City’s extensive Scandinavian legion, during their four season tenure in Division Two. Whilst the likes of Brynjar Gunnarsson and Larus Sigurosson moved onto far better things; no-one’s career had stalled as much as Sigursteinn Gisalsson’s whilst at Stoke City in 1999.
After spending ten years as a loyal servant at the Icelandic outfit IA, Gisalsson found himself frozen out of the first team. The Icelandic midfielder moved to the Britannia Stadium in November 1999 with hopes of reviving his career.
However, Gislason was quickly transferred to his first club KR Reykjavik and, after a short spell at Vikingur before retiring, he quickly became known as a highly ambitious head coach in Iceland.
Statistics:
Club – Bristol Rovers (1998-2001)
Position – Defender
League appearances whilst playing in League One (goals scored) – 14 (1)
Cup appearances whilst playing in League One (goals scored) – 4 (0)
Forget about Vitaly Astafjevs. Bristol Rovers’ most obscure import is easily Swedish defender Marcus Andreason, who appeared for Rovers in two injury-hit spells between July 1998 and July 2001. Whilst this was unfortunate, Andreasson still impressed many with strong defensive displays. Andreasson only made only 18 appearances in three years (with a six month gap in-between when he was transferred to Kalmar FF) for Rovers, but with his height and pace, he still made a difference when he played.
Statistics:
Club – Stockport County (1996-1998)
Position – Midfielder
League appearances whilst playing in League One (goals scored) – 28 (5)
Cup appearances whilst playing in League One (goals scored) – 10 (2)
Luis Cavaco is one of the great obscure imports you will ever find in League One. After joining the club from Estoril in August 1996, Cavaco was catapulted into the history books of Stockport County after his League Cup exploits during 1996-1997 season.
However, disaster was soon to strike for Cavaco just as he was heading for Championship football or even the Premiership after being linked to Chelsea. He broke his leg during the April 1997 league tie against Watford, and only played two more times for Stockport, before being released at the end of 1998-1999 season.
Clubs – Walsall (1997-1998); Bournemouth (1998-1999)
Position – Striker
League appearances whilst playing in League One (goals scored) – 48 (12)
Cup appearances whilst playing in League One (goals scored) –20 (12)
After Boli finished the season as Walsall’s top scorer with 24 goals, despite Walsall struggling in the Second Division (Walsall finishing four points off the relegation zone and Boli only scored four more times after his goal at Old Trafford in January 1998), a £150,000 move to Dundee United beckoned. Despite impressing in pre-season and having a goal disallowed in 2-0 away loss at Kilmarnock, Boli struggled with injuries. He soon left for Bournemouth for a £150,000 fee, but Boli again found it hard to find the back of the net (failing to score in 11 appearances) and soon retired.
However, Boli has been active since his retirement. In 2001, Boli set up a benefit match called Le Jubilé de Roger Boli for the Raoul-Follereau Association which saw Lens legends (including Boli) playing against the likes of Zinedine Zidane, Marcel Desailly, Patrick Vieira, Eric Cantona and Jean-Pierre Papin. Lens naturally won the match 7-2.
Club – Walsall (1998)
Position – Striker
League appearances whilst playing in League One (goals scored) – 14 (4)
Cup appearances whilst playing in League One (goals scored) –2 (1)
It would seem fitting to continue the list by proclaiming the talents of Roger Boli’s striking partner during his spell at Walsall. The Bescot welcomed Didier Tholot in March 1998, after a decline in form from Walsall and Boli, to stave off the threat of relegation. Tholot had a successful 11-year spell in France as a squad-rotation player, which included playing in the 1996 UFEA Cup Final for Bordeaux against Bayern Munich. However, his career soon stuttered at FC Sion and he decided to move to the West Midlands outfit on loan to find some much-needed form.
Although his goal-scoring record was never as impressive as Boli’s, he still made a big enough impression to save Walsall from relegation during the 1997-1998 season. What he lacked in skill and pace, he made up in effort and on-the-field intelligence. He ended up scoring 5 goals in 16 appearances and he partnered well with Boli.
However, he never played again in England after his loan spell ended and Tholot returned to finish his career in the Swiss leagues. After FC Sion went into financial difficulties, he returned to become their player-manager after impressing at Vevey in the same position. After returning to France, to manage sides such as Libourne-Saint-Seurin and Reims in the lower and amateur leagues, Tholot was lured back to Sion in 2009 for his second spell there as manager.
Club – Wigan Athletic (2000-2001)
Position – Midfielder
League appearances whilst playing in League One (goals scored) – 15 (2)
Cup appearances whilst playing in League One (goals scored) – 2 (1)
Club – Notts County (2000-2001)
Position – Midfielder
League appearances whilst playing in League One (goals scored) – 5 (0)
Cup appearances whilst playing in League One (goals scored) – 0 (0)
Little is known about Fabrice Moreau, who is probably the Cameroon equivalent of Steve Claridge, after playing for 17 clubs during a 20-year career. After starting his career at Paris Saint-Germain, Moreau spent much of his career playing for several Second Division French sides (including a spell at Olympique de Marseille). Before playing for Notts County, Moreau also had spells in China and Spain.
Club – Sheffield Wednesday (2004)
Position – Striker
League appearances whilst playing in League One (goals scored) – 10 (0)
Cup appearances whilst playing in League One (goals scored) – 2 (0)
Awful. Simply awful. In a short and very unsuccessful spell at Sheffield Wednesday, Kim Olsen is widely seen as one of the worst strikers to have ever played for the Owls. Olsen arrived at S6 in February 2004, hoping to add some fire-power to Chris Turner’s struggling side. However, as Sheffield Wednesday slumped to a 16th place finish in Division Two during the 2003-2004 season, Olsen failed to score in 12 games for the club.
This is not really surprising, given that Olsen shirked from any form of responsibility on the pitch. Tackles, passes, shots and headers were all too rare and his lack of effort was something that frustrated most Wednesday fans. In fact, his only real contributions to the club were falling down all too quickly in dubious penalty claims against Hartlepool United and Rushden & Diamonds.
Olsen’s claim to fame may soon be his recent miss for Orebo SK, though. It is destined to be seen as the one of the great sitters of all time, as his two easy chances were embarrassingly hit. Still, it is more than he ever contributed whilst at Sheffield Wednesday.
Club – Queens Park Rangers (2001-2003)
Position – Striker
League appearances whilst playing in League One (goals scored) – 46 (3)
Cup appearances whilst playing in League One (goals scored) – 5 (0)
Doudou struggled with homesickness and often found the physicality of Division Two hard to deal with. He also had barren spells in front of goal; where, for example, he went 14 matches before he broke his duck for QPR. During the 2001-2002 season, he went a further 18 consecutive matches without scoring and did not score at all during the 2002-2003 season.
Club – Walsall (1998-2000)
Position – Striker
League appearances (goals scored) – 10 (1)
Cup appearances whilst playing in League One (goals scored) – 1 (1)
Despite impressing many fans with his hard-working nature and his goals, he never quite broke into Walsall’s first team. He only ever started two matches during his 21-month spell and later had an impressive loan spell at Chester City. After spending time in Belgium; he later played his trade at the Icelandic side KR Reykjavík, where he won the Icelandic Championship with them.
Club – Cardiff City (1999-2000)
Position – Defender
League appearances whilst playing in League One (goals scored) – 5 (0)
Cup appearances whilst playing in League One (goals scored) – 1 (0)
Jorn Schwinkendorf. One of those rare players that seem destined for obscurity before they have even played for the club. Schwinkendorf was already nicknamed ‘Tinky Schwinky’ by the Cardiff fans before he had put on a Cardiff City shirt due to his hefty height (6 foot and 5 inches). It was expected that he would become a strong figure in the Bluebirds’ defence after making the £110,000 move from Waldhof Mannheim in November 1999.
Schwinkendorf quickly became one of the worst imports that Cardiff City have ever had, and moved back to Germany in 2000 with Vfl Osnabruck before finally retiring in 2001 at the age of 30. However, Schwinkendorf has now moved back to football and is currently the manager of VfB Pößneck.
Club – Reading (1998-2000)
Position – Goalkeeper
League appearances whilst playing in League One (goals conceded) – 3 (7)
Cup appearances whilst playing in League One (goals conceded) – 2 (4)
Dutch goalkeepers playing their trade in League One is a long-standing tradition, with many of them making their name in the aforementioned league including Bart Griemink, Arjan Van Heusden and Michel Kuipers. But there has not been one as bad or as obscure as the former Reading ‘keeper Peter van der Kwaak.
Club – Reading (1998-2000)
Position – Striker
League appearances whilst playing in League One (goals scored) – 31 (3)
Cup appearances whilst playing in League One (goals scored) – 7 (0)
Like Peter van der Kwaak, Mass Sarr was one of the most unpopular imports ever seen at the Madjeski, and he was eventually released at the end of the 1999-2000 season. It was a shame, as on paper it seemed to be the perfect transfer when you consider Sarr’s pedigree.
Over the course of his career, Sarr had played for Monaco and became a regular for Croatian giants Hadjuk Split (where he scored 18 goals in 45 matches). After his £158,000 move to Reading in 1998 and his impressive performance at the first match to be held at the Madjeski, where they hosted Luton Town, Sarr looked like he would become one of Reading’s biggest stars.
He is probably most famous for, though, his spell at the Liberian National side. Sarr gained 79 international caps and scored just four goals. He was also part of the side that was just one point away from making the 2002 World Cup. Sarr’s loss is obscurity’s gain.
Club – Watford (1997-1998)
Position – Defender
League appearances whilst playing in League One (goals scored) – 4 (1)
Cup appearances whilst playing in League One (goals scored) – 1 (0)
Lars Melvang, in his initial three-month trial contract, arrived at Vicarage Road with high expectations. The attacking Danish right-back was expected to challenge Watford legend Nigel Gibbs for his undisputed first-team spot in the Hornets’ first-team, especially as Melvang was a first-team regular at Danish big-hitters Silkeborg IF and Odense BK.
However, Melvang rarely troubled Gibbs’ number 2 shirt due to sustaining several injuries over the season. Despite several contract extensions, he never looked like making a first-team breakthrough.
Club – Stockport County (2003); Sheffield Wednesday (2003-2004)
Position – Goalkeeper
League appearances whilst playing in League One (goals conceded) – 31 (45)
Cup appearances whilst playing in League One (goals conceded) – 3 (5)
I can assure you that Ola Tidman is one of the very worst goalkeepers you will ever see. Tidman has astonishingly poor awareness in the box, an appalling handling of crosses, diabolical levels of distribution and he makes more mistakes than you’ve had hot dinners. What went wrong for Ola after such an impressive start in Division Two with Stockport County?
After conceding 21 goals in 18 games and attracting interest from Wigan Athletic, Tidman made the move to Sheffield Wednesday in the summer of 2003 after Wednesday’s relegation from Division One. Tidman was seen as a long-term replacement for Kevin Pressman, but he only kept two clean sheets in 16 matches and conceded 29 goals during his time at Hillsborough.
It looks like that, after deliberating, Ola Tidman has been crowned as the most obscure foreign import to ever play in League One. His complete lack of progression after his spell in League One has propelled him to the top spot.
If the above list isn’t enough to quench your thirst for League One football, then I shall direct you to the embedded video below that shows your all of the League One goals from the 4th November 1995. It’s literally chock-full of obscure players.
After recent hamstring injuries to Darren Purse and Lewis Buxton, the recent arrival of Preston North End outcast Eddie Nolan – who Alan Irvine has signed on loan for the rest of the season – has come at exactly the right time.
After, apparently, falling out with Preston manager Darren Ferguson when he was substituted in a recent match against Swansea City, it is expected that Nolan can effectively deputise in defence and provide some much-needed competition for places. He certainly comes with strong credentials: Nolan has been capped by the Republic of Ireland, is left and right footed, and possesses good distribution levels. As Wednesday’s defence has only kept five clean sheets in the league all season (which has also seen heavy defeats against Derby County, Watford, Leicester City and West Bromwich Albion), Nolan’s versatility could prove vital in their battle against relegation. But, as Nolan can play anywhere in defence, the main question is: where is he most likely to play?
Although playing as a centre-back is Nolan’s preferred position, it is unlikely that Nolan will be playing in the heart of Wednesday’s defence regularly – due to the developing partnership of Darren Purse and Mark Beevers. Despite some abject displays during his early days as Sheffield Wednesday’s captain, Purse’s recent performances have improved. His experience and leadership qualities have been an under-appreciated factor in Wednesday’s recent upturn in form, and this was shown during his absence in the home defeat against Ipswich Town. The defence was a mess during this match and looked increasingly uncomfortable in a performance that made Ipswich look like the home side. Too much space was given to the Ipswich forwards and, if their strikers had the ability to create more chances, the score would have been worse than 1-0.
The absence of Purse also led to an uncharacteristically poor performance from Mark Beevers, who has been a revelation since Alan Irvine’s arrival at Hillsborough. This was shown in Irvine’s first match against Barnsley when Beevers was an absolute rock; the talented centre-back won practically every tackle and header. Due to the risk of playing two young and relatively inexperienced centre-backs, Alan Irvine wise decision to play the consistent and experienced Richard Hinds, alongside Beevers, during Purse’s three-week absence.
Instead, the possibility of Nolan playing at right-back is more ideally suited to Wednesday’s needs. Since Buxton’s injury, replacement Frank Simek has failed to impress since his return to the Wednesday squad after a prolonged spell on the sidelines. Desperately short of match fitness, Simek has lost the pace and skill that made him such a favourite at Hillsborough. Although gaining match fitness will certainly improve his performances, a relegation battle is not the ideal place for the right-back to regain this. A loan spell at a League One club would be more beneficial for Simek and the American may no longer has necessary quality to play in the Championship. Nolan would be an ideal replacement for Buxton and Simek, seeing that he is predominately a right-footed defender.
Nolan would also provide much-needed competition for Lewis Buxton, when he returns from injury, as his performances how been a shadow of his impression form during last season. In fact, his performances this season have been reminiscent of his stuttering form during his first four matches at Wednesday.
Despite being right-footed, Nolan has regularly given assured performances at left-back for Preston in the past. In fact, he is played in this position so often that many mistakenly believe that Nolan is a left-back.
Nolan’s versatility means that he could fill in at left-back and many may feel that he should be given a run in this position, due to Tommy Spurr’s dire form for Wednesday this season. Despite an impressive start to his career at Hillsborough, Spurr’s desire to get forward – alongside his poor positional reasoning – has often left the Owls’ defence exposed, with many supporters feeling that is a liability to the team. With the reliable veteran Michael Gray playing in a midfield role and the versatile Hinds preferred as a centre-back, Tommy Spurr has been the automatic left-back choice for Wednesday this season by default. Nolan’s possible inclusion at left-back could stir things up and may lead to dramatic improvements in Sheffield Wednesday’s defensive displays.
Although Steve Claridge has criticised Nolan for not going forward enough, this could work in Wednesday’s favour – whatever position he plays in. Claridge has mentioned that Nolan is willing to dig deep and help other defenders out when they are out of position and playing at full-back would mean that Nolan could compensate Darren Purse’s lack of pace and judgement, which has cost Wednesday several goals this season. Despite Purse’s recent displays, his poor marking of Barnsley striker Daniel Bogdanovic nearly led to the Tykes taking an early lead in January’s clash at Oakwell, after Emil Hallfredsson cancelled out Tommy Spurr’s early strike. Conceding such an early goal may have led to a different result and a very different (and even more negative) picture to what we are seeing now. If Nolan plays as a central defender, he can help full-backs like Buxton and Spurr out when they are caught out of position.
At the minute, improving the defence should be the main focus. Although Alan Irvine’s arrival led to an improvement of results, it also coincided with an improvement in defensive displays at Hillsborough. This is no coincidence and a return to the sloppy defending seen during Brian Laws’ final days at Hillsborough has seen results decline in recent matches. Nolan’s unselfish play could be crucial in building a sound and cohesive defensive unit, which will stream confidence throughout the squad. A lack of confidence has been one of the main reasons why Wednesday have struggled so much this season and the possibility of Nolan injecting this could be invaluable. It is unlikely that another attacking full-back would make much of a difference – as Wednesday have lacked the flair from their midfielders and strikers to create chances, let alone from their defence.
Whilst Nolan’s recent attitude problems may put his credentials in question, there is no doubting his commitment on-the-pitch and he could well be a pivotal role in Wednesday’s bid to avoid relegation. Alan Irvine knows the talented defender well, having managed Nolan when he was the manager of Preston. Eddie Nolan could well be the unlikely saving grace in Sheffield Wednesday’s season and I, for one, will certainly by hoping that he starts on Saturday’s crucial away tie at Reading. Things can’t get any worse for a Wednesdayite, at the minute, that’s for certain.
Talking about obscure footballers is a favourite past-time so, to celebrate this fact, here is a list of the 15 most obscure imports ever to play in the second tier of English football. As long as a player was signed during a team’s stint in this division, they are eligible.
Statistics:
Club – Grimsby Town (2000-2002)
Position – Defender/Midfielder
Championship appearances (goals scored) – 54 (2)
Cup appearances whilst playing in the Championship (goals scored) – 5 (0)
Willems left at the end of the 2001-2002 season, despite being a regular starter, after accusing the club of lacking ambition and he subsequently he fell out of favour with new manager Paul Groves. Despite wanting to return to Blundell Park, shortly after leaving, Willems’ final pay cheque was in the Netherlands which brought his very average career to an end.
Statistics:
Club – Norwich City (2001-2002)
Position – Striker
Championship appearances (goals scored) – 34 (7)
Cup appearances whilst playing in the Championship (goals scored) – 3 (0)
Despite not reaching his full potential at Norwich City, he was well-liked by the fans and he even had a t-shirt distributed to celebrate his first goal. Marc Libbra, a true cult hero.
Statistics:
Club – Wolverhampton Wanderers (2006-2009)
Position – Midfielder
Championship appearances (goals scored) – 9 (2)
Cup appearances whilst playing in the Championship (goals scored) – 3 (0)
Former Hungary international Denes Rosa arrived at Molnieux in 2006, with many hoping that his flair and speed would bring some consistency to Glenn Hoddle’s under-achieving side. He certainly came with a high pedigree after scoring against Millwall and Hearts in the UFEA Cup, for Ferencvaros.
Despite becoming a regular goalscorer for the reserves (including scoring 13 in one season, despite missing many games through injury), Rosa departed the West Midlands outfit last year. After unsuccessful spells at Hibernian and Cheltenham Town, Rosa has moved back to Ferencvaros. He is now a regular starter for the Greek side, who are now managed by former Blackburn Rovers defender Craig Short. Denes Rosa is a player who is destined to become even more obscure, over the coming years.
Statistics:
Club – Barnsley (2000-2002)
Position – Defender
Championship appearances (goals scored) – 17 (0)
Cup appearances whilst playing in the Championship (goals scored) – 3 (0)
Mateo Corbo – the forgotten hard-man, in football. Forget Vinnie Jones and Julian Dicks, Corbo had it all from late tackles to elbowing. Despite showing some good attacking flair, the aggressive left-back’s time at Barnsley was marred by disciplinary problems.
Whilst there was no doubt that Corbo was technically gifted, his ability to be less disciplined than Matt Redmile and Gus Uhlenbeek meant that he was always going to fade into obscurity. Mateo Corbo is Barnsley’s loss and obscurity’s gain.
Statistics:
Club: Tranmere Rovers (2001-2002)
Position – Striker
Championship appearances (goals scored) – 8 (2)
Cup appearances whilst playing in the Championship (goals scored) – 0 (0)
Like Mateo Corbo, Seyni N’Diaye quickly became a talented yet troublesome and ill-disciplined star in the Championship. N’Diaye gave Tranmere Rovers a glimmer of hope in their always doomed attempt to avoid relegation in the 2000-2001 season, after he fired home a controversial winner against Birmingham City. However, he quickly turned from hero to villain in the reserve fixture against the Blues when he was sent off for violent conduct and was banned for three matches.
Rovers were already relegated to League One when the striker returned, but he did play an important role in gaining credible draws against Watford and Nottingham Forest. N’Diaye failed to make an impact for Rovers in their next season – gaining two red cards for elbowing in the process – and a disappointing period at Dunfermline followed.
N’Diaye’s best years, however, were after leaving Prenton Park as he became a cult legend in the Cyprian Leagues – despite his failure at Greek side Kerkyra FC. He played an important role during AEL FC’s run up to the Coca-Cola Cup final, and he also played for Nea Salamina and AC Omonia, before moving back to AEL FC in 2007. He retired a year later, which would have been a relief for his opposing defenders for several reasons.
Statistics:
Club – Norwich City (1999-2001)
Position – Midfielder
Championship appearances (goals scored) – 34(0)
Cup appearances whilst playing in the Championship (goals scored) – 3 (0)
Despite fighting back from this injury, de Blasiis lost that touch of pace required for a winger and was subsequently released in the summer of 2001. Undeterred, he played for FC Istres during the 2001-2002 season and even made a several appearances for FC Down after retiring.
Statistics:
Club – Sheffield Wednesday (2001-2002)
Position – Midfielder/Striker
Championship appearances (goals scored) – 23 (4)
Cup appearances whilst playing in the Championship (goals scored) – 7 (1)
His spell at Hillsborough was not extended, despite becoming a favourite with fans, and he soon joined several South American clubs with various degrees of success. He moved clubs just as often as Trevor Benjamin and Steve Claridge, as he made a transfer at least once a season. This stopped in 2008, when he retired from the game at the age of 27 for unknown reasons.
Statistics:
Club – Burnley (2001-2002)
Position – Goalkeeper
Championship appearances (goals conceded) – 0 (0)
Cup appearances whilst playing in the Championship (goals conceded) – 1 (2)
Even Burnley fans will remember the name Luigi for Mario’s brother, rather than their goalkeeper Luigi Cennamo. Signed from Olympiakos, as part of Burnley’s growing Greek population – alongside Dimitrios Papadopoulos and first choice goalkeeper Nik Michopoulos – Cennamo’s spell is remembered for all the wrong reasons.
Cennamo moved to Egaleo FC in 2004 where the pressure of playing in the Greek First Division has not succumbed him; he has flourished and has become a club legend.
Statistics:
Club – Sheffield United (2002-2003)
Position – Defender
Championship appearances (goals scored) – 0 (0)
Cup appearances whilst playing in the Championship (goals scored) – 0 (0)
Benoit Croissant was highly rated enough, by Neil Warnock, for the defender to be snapped up from Troyes. Despite Croissant regularly impressing for the reserves, he failed to make a single appearance during his stint at Bramall Lane.
For all of Crossiant’s success since leaving Bramall Lane, Crossiant’s following remains non-existent and he has overtaken Alex Smeets and Davy Gysbrechts, as the most obscure Sheffield United defender there ever has been. Only the most ardent Sheffield United fan will remember Crossiant.
Statistics:
Club – Wolverhampton Wanderers (1996-1997)
Position – Defender
Championship appearances (goals scored) – 4 (0)
Cup appearances whilst playing in the Championship (goals scored) – 1 (0)
The French right-back Serge Romano, joined Wolverhampton Wanderers in a free transfer from Martigues in the summer of 1996. Romano, however, failed to provide the experience and quality required, after failing to impress in his first and only two starts for the club. Romano failed to complete either of these two matches and was in a side that conceded three goals. Three cameo substitute appearances were made in October 1996, and never played again until he was released in May 1997.
Statistics:
Club – Norwich City (1997)
Position –Striker
Championship appearances (goals scored) – 7 (1)
Cup appearances whilst playing in the Championship (goals scored) – 1 (0)
Statistics:
Club – Sheffield United (2001-2003)
Position – Goalkeeper
Championship appearances (goals conceded) – 6 (6)
Cup appearances whilst playing in the Championship (goals conceded) – 3 (5)
Wilko De Vogt was signed by Neil Warnock during a the summer of 2001 after failing to break into the first team of Eredivisie side NAC. De Vogt was a panic buy after the abrupt departure of Frank Talia in goal, and the Dutchman was immediately the second choice ‘keeper at Bramall Lane behind Simon Tracey.
Statistics:
Club – Wolverhampton Wanderers (1998-2001)
Position – Midfielder
Championship appearances (goals scored) – 6 (0)
Cup appearances whilst playing in the Championship (goals scored) – 1 (0)
Although Niestroj had a shot cleared off the line on his full debut, the German failed to impress and only made six appearances for Wolves. Although he impressed more in the Pontis League, in the first team he showed flair akin to a combine harvester both in real life and in ‘Championship Manager’. After leaving Molineux in 2001, Niestroj has been through more Greek, Icelandic and lower league German sides than hot dinners, and can now be found playing in the German equivalent of the Blue Square North.
Statistics:
Club – Rotherham United (2001-2003)
Position – Midfielder
Championship appearances (goals scored) – 2 (0)
Cup appearances (goals scored) – 1 (0)
Jose Miranda became one of Rotherham United’s first signings, when they were promoted to the Championship in 2001. However, the talented Portuguese winger failed to break into Rotherham’s first team and he was substituted at half-time when he made his only start for the Millers.
Statistics:
Clubs – Barnsley (1996-1998); Sheffield United (2002-2003); Bradford City (2003)
Position – Striker
Championship appearances (goals scored) – 13 (0)
Cup appearances (goals scored) – 4 (0)
Laurens ten Heuvel is, without doubt, the most obscure Championship footballer there ever has been – whether or not they are foreign. During his spells with Barnsley, Sheffield United and Bradford City; ten Heuvel has shown incompetency, shown by no other player. He is the perfect definition of the phrase ‘could not hit a barn-door’, and this was shown whilst playing for Bradford City at Carrow Road. It took him 83 minutes to make his second shot of the match.
And there it all ends, with Laurens ten Heuvels being most obscure of them all. I am sure that you will agree, that they are obscure. However, if you know of any foreign imports in the Championship, that are more obscure, please do not hesitate to mention them in the comments section. To offer extra bang for your buck, here is a clip of the 1998-1999 First Division play-off final between Watford and Bolton Wanderers.
Players who have received call-ups to the England squad, but were never capped, has always been a question that has been raised during pub conversations.
Some of these are, perhaps, easily remembered – such as Michael Mancienne, Sean Davis, Joe Lewis and Jimmy Bullard. Others – who were involved in Terry Venables and Glenn Hoddle’s get-together squads during the 1990s – such as Garry Flitcroft, Richard Edghill, Richard Hall, Darren Huckerby, Carl Serrant and Wayne Quinn, are more obscure. There have even been some players who have been called up to the England squad, but have since been capped for other countries – such as Shaka Hislop, Jlloyd Samuel and Dominic Matteo.
There are still enough candidates for a full-line up of players, who were called up to the England squad but never capped. Richard Jobson is someone who could be included, but who are the eleven chosen players?
GK: Kevin Pressman
Kevin Pressman has been involved in many battles for the number one jersey during his career – particularly during his fondly remembered spell at Sheffield Wednesday – but this was a battle that he failed to win.
Pressman was resigned to receive several call-ups as England’s third-choice goalkeeper, despite critically acclaimed performances, during the 1990s. This could, perhaps, be considered as a crying shame given his talents for taking penalties.
DF: David May
David May – due to a defensive injury crisis in the England squad – earned a surprise call-up for the home match with Mexico in March 1997, after some impressive performances at the heart of Manchester United’s defence.
May initially struggled at Old Trafford, after failing to dislodge Steve Bruce in the centre of defence, as he had to make do with playing out-of-position at right-back. These early performances led to May’s harsh inclusion in The Times’ Top 50 Worst Premier League Footballers list, but his excellent performances during the 1996-1997 season merited his solidarity call-up. May now works as wine merchant and pundit for MUTV.
DF: Alan Wright
Alan Wright also earned his single inclusion in the England squad because of an injury crisis, which was before England’s friendly with Croatia in April 1996. The attacking left-back made over 250 first-team appearances for Aston Villa – during an eight year spell at Villa Park – but he failed to dislodge Graeme Le Saux, Phil Neville and Stuart Pearce at international level.
Wright is currently playing for Conference North side Fleetwood Town – despite being 39 years old – after spells with Middlesbrough, Sheffield United and Cheltenham Town.
DF: Richard Shaw
Richard Shaw found himself amongst England’s finest, when he was announced as a back-up player for the 1995 Umbro Cup squad. This was his reward for a number of assured performances for Crystal Palace during the 1994-1995 season, which earned him the club’s Player of the Season Award.
They were relegated at the end of this season, despite the fact that they only conceded 49 goals in 42 Premier League matches. He later made a £1m move to Coventry City in November 1995 and ended his career at Millwall in 2008.
MF: Steve Froggatt
Former Wolverhampton Wanderers winger Steve Froggatt was seen as one of England’s most promising prospects, after making a £1.9m move to Coventry City in October 1998. Froggatt was seen as a possible solution to England’s left-side problem and he found himself on the bench, during their Euro 2000 qualification play-off tie against Scotland. He was also called up to the senior side for the friendly with Argentina in February 2000.
Froggatt, unfortunately, was on the receiving end of a horror tackle by Sunderland’s Nicky Summerbee days after this and was one that ended his career. Froggatt set up his own Fitness Company, after retiring in 2001, and he also works as a football pundit on television and radio.
MF: Mark Draper
Mark Draper was a key performer for Leicester City and Aston Villa during the 1990s, so it came as no surprise when he was called up for a World Cup qualifier against Poland in October 1996. Draper was involved in England’s get-together squad in April 1995, which was part of Terry Venables’ preparations for Euro 1996.
Draper later from suffered several injury problems and he lost his place when John Gregory was in charge at Villa Park. Draper’s career never recovered from this and – after spells at Southampton, non-league outfit Dunkirk and as Notts County’s kit-man – he is working as a property developer.
MF: David Thompson
Many Liverpool trainees have received England caps over the years but – despite Sven Goran Eriksson being a big fan of the midfielder – David Thompson failed to receive a single cap during his time at Blackburn Rovers. After being called up for the Euro 2004 qualifiers against FYROM and Slovakia, Thompson’s career was later dogged by several cartilage injuries.
He struggled to rebuild his career at Ewood Park and spent the remaining years of his career drifting from one club to another. Thompson eventually retired in November 2007 – after unsuccessful spells at Wigan Athletic, Portsmouth and Bolton Wanderers.
MF: Darren Eadie
Darren Eadie gained a glowing reputation as one of the best players outside of the Premier League, during his time at Norwich City. His outstanding form at Carrow Road led to two appearances in England’s senior squads – for the 1997 Tournoi de France tournament and Glenn Hoddle’s get-together squad in 1998 – as the England manager was clearly an admirer of Eadie’s flair and eye for goal.
He failed to earn an England cap, however, as he had to withdraw from both squads due to injury problems. Eadie continued to suffer from injuries later in his career, especially when he made a £3m move to Premier League regulars Leicester City.
MF: Lee Clark
Lee Clark was a steady performer for his boyhood side Newcastle United and he was called up to the England squad, for the Tournoi de France competition in 1997, alongside Eadie. Whilst Clark did not withdraw from the squad, he did not play in any of England’s matches during the tournament.
Clark soon moved to Sunderland and Fulham, before making an emotional return to St. James Park as a player-coach in 2005. He has since made an excellent start to his managerial career at Huddersfield Town.
FW: Chris Armstrong
Chris Armstrong regularly found himself near the top of the Premier League and Division One goal-scoring charts, during his time at Crystal Palace and Tottenham Hotspur, but Armstrong failed to make his mark at the international stage. The striker – despite being a dependable performer – found it hard to make an international breakthrough, due to a failed drug test in 1995 and strong competition from various English forwards.
Armstrong eventually received an international call-up, for a Euro 2000 qualifier against Poland in March 1999, but he later lost his first-team place at White Hart Lane and soon went into obscurity. He left Spurs in 2002 for spells at Bolton Wanderers and Wrexham, before retiring.
FW: Matt Jansen
Matt Jansen was tipped to partner Michael Owen, during the 2002 World Cup, after some majestic displays for Blackburn Rovers. The former Crystal Palace and Carlisle United forward was also set to start in a friendly against Paraguay in April 2002, until he had to withdraw from the squad due to a stomach virus.
Jansen was still seen as one of England’s hottest prospects, until he was involved in a motorcycle accident that nearly cost him his life. Jansen struggled to rebuild his career, due to problems with injuries and depression, after the accident. Nonetheless, Jansen is still keen to carry on his career and can now be found playing for Garry Flitcroft’s Leigh Genesis.
In order to meet the definition of obscure, they must the following set criteria. They must have been signed during a club’s tenure in the Premiership, and must not have been first team regulars for a prolonged period or been at several English sides (see Detsi Kruszynski, Clint Marcelle or Dariusz Kubicki). Their displays at their clubs must have been distinctively average in that they were not bad enough to warrant cult status (see Andrea Silenzi, William Prunier, Marco Boogers or Ali Dia) but were not good enough to warrant a regular place (see Ramon Vega, Bjarne Goldbaek, Eric Hassli, Vegard Heggem or Uwe Rosler).
Obscure Premership imports with distinguished club careers (see Jean-Michel Ferri, Isaias or Ned Zelic) or international careers (Viorel Moldovan or Goce Sedloski) are also excluded from this list, as their entire career could not be considered as obscure nor average.
The perfect obscure player, therefore, is one that offers nothing at all to a side and has consistently underachieved throughout their career. All of the following 15 players do exactly that, so lets get on with the list.
Statistics:
Club – Newcastle United (1999-2000)
Position – Attacking Midfielder
League appearances (goals) – 23 (0)
Cup appearances (goals) – 8 (2)
Maric joined Newcastle in early 1999, on the back of successful Champions League and World Cup campaigns with Dinamo Zagreb and Croatia respectively. Although this may seem impressive, his career has been very mediocre. One goal in 19 international appearances says it all, and he failed to score in any of his 23 Premiership matches with Newcastle. He had a perfect chance to score in the FA Cup final against Manchester United in 1999, but he missed an easy chance.
Apart from his spells at Zagreb, his performances has been consistently average and will only be remembered by the most ardent of Newcastle supporters.
Statistics:
Club – Arsenal (1999-2001)
Position – Central Midfielder
League appearances (goals) – 6 (1)
Cup appearances (goals) – 8 (1)
Stefan Malz was never the greatest of players, despite impressing in Germany. After scoring twice in 36 games for 1860 Munich, Arsene Wenger signed the midfielder for a fee of £650,000 in 1999.
Malz made 6 league appearances for the Gunners, during his two-year tenure, but is probably most famous for scoring the winner against Preston in the League Cup and being an unused substitute in the 2000 UFEA Cup final loss, at the hands of Galatasary.
He later had spells at FC Kaiserslautern and at various non-league German sides. It is fitting that this obscure player had such an unproductive spell at Arsenal, when he could been used far less sparingly at less glamorous clubs.
Statistics:
Club – Watford (1999-2000)
Position – Attacking Midfielder/Striker
League appearances (goals) – 7 (2)
Cup appearances (goals) – 0 (0)
Gravelaine moved to Watford, in late 1999, so he could halt Watford’s alarming slide down the table. It was thought that his flair and talent would provide the goals needed, for the Hornets to avoid relegation. It was also hoped that Gravelaine would provide experience as he had 14 spells at various clubs (four of which were spent at Paris Saint Germain), before his move to Watford, and gained 4 international caps for the French side during 1992 and 1993.
Gravelaine showed glimpses of his talents, as he played an important role in Watford’s brief improvement in form during the Winter period of 1999. This included provided an assist in the loss at the hands of Liverpool, and scoring a brace in the 3-2 victory over Southampton. Unfortunately after failing to settle, Gravelaine left Watford after a couple of months. After a disappointing managerial career, Gravelaine now works as a television consultant.
Statistics:
Club – Newcastle United (2000-2001)
Position – Striker
League appearances (goals) – 21 (2)
Cup appearances (goals) – 6 (1)
Cordone was one of many in a long list of South American flops at Newcastle, but this inclusion is merited as his spell at St. James Park has been forgotten about. This was seen in a BBC Sport article where all of the other Newcastle flops from South American were scrutinised, apart from Cordone. Cordone, instead, was just name-dropped.
He initially made a strong impact at Newcastle, scoring in his first two games. However his goals, against Derby County and Tottenham Hotspur, were ones that capitalised on poor clearances, rather than Cordone’s skill. Despite a majestic League Cup display at Valley Parade in the 3-2 victory over Bradford City, Cordone’s lack of skill was apparent as he failed to score in his next 19 league matches.
Cordone moved back to Argentina after his season-long spell, later faced a drugs ban and had spells in the Argentine regional divisions. His goalscoring record, during this period, remained as pathetic as ever.
Statistics:
Club – Crystal Palace (1997-1998)
Position – Attacking Midfielder/Striker
League appearances (goals) – 6 (0)
Cup appearances (goals) – 3 (0)
A classic case of a player being rate 91% on ‘Fifa 98: Road to the World Cup‘, when they were complete and utter tosh. Bought by Steve Coppell for Crystal Palace in 1997 for £1.2 million, Zohar made six increasingly dismal performances for Palace in an utterly diabolical spell.
Things came to a head in December 1997 where Zohar hit a tamely hit penalty towards Southampton’s Paul Jones, denying the Eagles their first home victory of the 1997-1998 season. Zohar, often seen as one of Palace’s worst signings, shortly left in a transfer as pointless as a Crystal Palace Premiership campaign. Rather amusingly, Steve Coppell tried to swap Zohar for Coventry City’s far superior Dion Dublin.
Zohar is now far more at home in Israel, as he has become a beach football specialist. He is also enjoying life as a celebrity, as he is the Israeli equivalent of Gary Lineker, through presenting sports shows and being the face of Gillette.
Statistics:
Club – Sheffield Wednesday (1998-1999)
Position – Striker
League appearances (goals) – 6 (1)
Cup appearances (goals) – 2 (0)
Sanetti was signed by Sheffield Wednesday manager Ron Atkinson in April 1998, to boost their Italian legion alongside Paolo Di Canio and Benito Carbone. He made a sensational début as a substitute at Aston Villa, where he scored one and also hit the woodwork, and impressed on his first start against Crystal Palace.
However, the next season he was frozen out of the team by Danny Wilson and only made four further appearances. He never scored again, after his début. He joined the army, after the 1998-1999, season and his career after Sheffield Wednesday, has not been followed since. Whether he is retired or not is unknown; this shows how average and obscure he was.
Statistics:
Club – Coventry City (1997)
Position – Defender
League appearances (goals) – 3 (0)
Cup appearances (goals) – 0 (0)
The former Ukrainian international, who made several brief substitute appearances for the national side in the mid 1990s, was brought in by Coventry City chief Gordon Strachan in a last-ditch attempt to avoid relegation in the 1996-1997 season.
Statistics:
Club – Southampton (2000-2004)
Position – Attacking Midfielder/Striker
League appearances (goals) – 0 (0)
Cup appearances (goals) – 0 (0)
Eyene joined Southampton on the eve of the 2000-2001 season, amidst high expectations of being a highly promising player. However, Eyene failed to capitalise on these expectations by enduring a frustrating four-year spell at the Saints with as much activity as the Lisa Scott-Lee fan club. The only football that Eyene played during these four years was during a year-long loan spell with Spanish side Hercules CF.
After failing to make a single appearance for them and a disastrous spell at Dundee, Eyene can now be found playing his trade in the Spanish fifth division.
Statistics:
Club – Ipswich Town (1994-1995)
Position – Striker
League appearances (goals) – 18 (1)
Cup appearances (goals) – 3 (0)
John Lyall broke the bank to bring Paz to Ipswich in September 1994 for a then club record fee of £1 million. Despite being the first Uruguayan player in the Premier League, Paz struggled to cope with the demands of the Premiership as he scored only one goal in 18 appearances.
Statistics:
Club – Leeds United (1997-1998)
Position – Winger
League appearances (goals) – 4 (0)
Cup appearances (goals) – 0 (0)
Laurent signed for Leeds from Bastia for a fee of around £200,000 in March 1997 (around the same time as below-par Scottish striker Derek Lilley, incidentally), with manager George Graham lauding him as one of Europe’s fastest wingers, and was immediately compared to Eric Cantona. Whilst failing to make an impression, Laurent did impress on his full début against Nottingham Forest, despite failing to trouble Forest goalkeeper Alan Fettis with a weak shot.
Statistics:
Club – Blackburn Rovers (1997-1998)
Position – Defender
League appearances (goals) – 16 (0)
Cup appearances (goals) – 4 (0)
Another player was brought to the Premiership by Bastia (this time, on a free transfer) in 1997. It was Patrick Valery’s turn, who become Roy Hodgson’s first signing at Blackburn Rovers. Whilst initially a regular at the club, Valery soon lost his place, in the team. This was largely due to his aggressive style of play, gaining several bookings in the process alongside a red card against Tottenham. During his time, Valery humorously gave an insight into the club’s dietary methods by stating that the Blackburn squad were baked bean addicts!
Statistics:
Club – Liverpool (1999-2002)
Position – Defender
League appearances (goals) – 0 (0)
Cup appearances (goals) – 2 (0)
There have been many obscure youth imports during the Premiership’s seven seasons, but none have been more obscure and average than Frode Kippe. Having not as played as much as Gregory Vignal, nor was he as infamous as Anthony Le Tallec, Kippe is the ideal average defender.
Despite impressing in the reserves and for Stoke City (he was shipped on loan to the Potters, during his spell at Anfield), Kippe was neither outstanding or woeful. Just average. His average career has continued, by making occasional appearances for the Norwegian national side and being a solid squad rotation player for Lillestrom.
Statistics:
Club – Newcastle United (1999-2003)
Position – Goalkeeper
League appearances (goals conceded) – 3 (7)
Cup appearances (goals conceded) – 0 (0)
After spending 13 solid seasons at Dutch side NAC Breda, Karelse became Ruud Gullit’s final signing at Newcastle where expectations were that he would be competing with Steve Harper for a place on the substitutes bench.
However, after a poor start to the 1999-2000 season, Karelse was brought in to shore up a leaky defence. If anything, they became leakier, under the Dutch goalkeeper, as Newcastle conceded four goals against Southampton and allowed Wimbledon to score three.
He made his third and final league appearance against Arsenal in October 1999. Although he kept a clean sheet, Karelse had to rely on a spirited defensive display to keep the final score at 0-0 as he flapped many crosses and even a shot by Tony Adams. In the end, a goal-line clearance by Franck Dumas kept Karelse’s dignity.
After this, he became a regular in the Newcastle reserve team and was a transfer-listed veteran on Championship Manager. He is now the assistant manager of NAC Breda. Such an average name; such an average career; such an average guy. The perfect definition of average.
Statistics:
Club – Sunderland (2000-2002)
Position – Midfielder
League appearances (goals) – 0 (0)
Cup appearances (goals) – 1 (0)
Peeters moved to Sunderland, from KV Mechelin, for a fee of £250,000 before the start of the 2000/2001 season. During his four season stay at the Statical of Light, Peeters’ only appearance was in a 3-0 League Cup victory over Luton Town. He did become a regular goalscorer in the Sunderland reserve team, however.
Statistics:
Club – Bradford City (1999)
Position – Striker
League appearances (goals) – 2 (0)
Cup appearances (goals) – 3 (0)
Bradford City made many overestimated foreign signings, during their time at the Premiership, such as the disastrous signings of Benito Carbone and Jorge Cadete. However, none proved more disastrous than Bruno Rodriguez.
Rodriguez was signed on a £500,000 season-long loan deal, with a view to a £3.2 million transfer. You would think that would not be bad for someone who was described, by chairman Geoffrey Richmond, as ‘oneof three or four best strikers in France‘.
Two brief Premiership substitute cameos, alongside terrible displays against a second-division Reading side in the League Cup, ensured that Rodriguez’s loan deal was terminated after just six weeks. A player so average and obscure, he makes Roger Boli look like Thierry Henry.
So, there it is. Whilst you may have your own opinions, I am sure that you will agree that these are all obscure. Anyone is more than welcome to post their own choices on the comments section, to get a discussion going. Keeping with the obscure footballing theme, here is a clip of the excellent Sega Saturn game ‘Sega Worldwide Soccer 97‘ with Gary Bloom commentating!
One of the most exciting things about the World Cup draw is guessing who is going to be in the ‘Group of Death’ and which group that will be. Usually, there is not one outright ‘Group of Death’ – as there are several candidates which can take this title. This year is no different, as Group A, Group D and Group G have all highlighted as potential candidates.
Here, through analysing the various groups and the definition of the ‘Group of Death’, a decision will be made on what is most likely to be next summer’s ‘Group of Death’.
Group A
Teams: South Africa, Mexico, Uruguay and France
South Africa:
South Africa were, fittingly, the first side to be picked in the World Cup draw. As the hosts, South Africa will be expected to, at least, reach the second round of the World Cup – as this has happened to other unfancied sides in the past such as Japan (joint hosts of the 2002 World Cup) and the United States (1994 World Cup hosts).
South Korea, as joint hosts, also reached the 2002 semi-finals, and France (1998 World Cup) and Denmark (Euro 1992) won the competitions they hosted. Belgium (joint hosts of Euro 2000), Switzerland and Austria (hosts of Euro 2008) all produced disappointing displays, though, and made early exists in the group stages.
Despite an improvement in form during the Confederations Cup – where they reached the semi-finals and were cruelly knocked out by Brazil, after a last-minute free-kick from Dani Alves – South Africa’s form has been poor. They had an appalling run of form under previous manager Joel Santana (losing eight out of his nine last games in charge including defeats at the hands of Norway and Iceland) and the return of former manager Carlos Alberto has done little to improve matters.
A greater amount of consistency is required, particularity after disappointing goalless draws with Japan and Jamaica. South Africa face far superior opposition than the likes of Iceland and Jamaica, during this group stage, and they need to utilise their home advantage fully, if they are to progress further in this competition.
France:
France qualified for the World Cup, after a highly controversial play-off victory against the Republic of Ireland. France entered the play-offs after an unimpressive performance in their qualification group – which included defeats by Austria, draws with Romania, and narrow 1-0 victories over Lithuania and the Faroe Islands. A recent defeat at the hands of Nigeria is a result that is unlikely to inject confidence, in addition to the undistinguished play-off performances against Ireland.
Despite this, France performed beyond expectations in the 2006 World Cup and they will be labelled the underdogs again. France boast an ageing squad, dubious tactics and the leadership of the much-criticised Raymond Domenech, and whether France can reach a second successive World Cup Final appearance is questionable. Judging by Group A, a second round appearance would be an achievement.
Mexico:
Like France, Mexico made qualifying for the World Cup a turbulent task. Under Sven Goran Eriksson, Mexico put together a disastrous run of one victory in seven qualification matches that had put Mexico’s qualification bid in turmoil.
After Eriksson was duly removed from his post, new manager Javier Aguirre has brought a new-found confidence in the Mexico camp and steered Mexico to their fifth consecutive World Cup appearance. Mexico qualified in style, after winning four of their final five qualifiers. Their attacking credentials also returned with the 5-0 thrashing of the United States in July’s Gold Cup Final.
Despite the draw, Mexico will hoping to translate their recent form and confidence into a second-round appearance.
Uruguay:
Uruguay again qualified for next year’s World Cup, via the South American play-offs. The only surprise was that they did not face Australia, in the play-offs, as they have now moved to the Asian qualifying zone.
Uruguay are a solid unit, with the ability to torment defenders and score plenty of goals. Atletico Madrid’s Diego Forlan and Ajax’s Luis Suarez will be looking to continue their lethal and prolific goalscoring form during the competition, and they have a good chance of doing this in Group A.
If Uruguay can find some form of consistency, something that was sorely missing during qualification, then they can be confident of progressing in the competition.
The View:
Group A is a tough group and looks like being a scrappy contest, as all four sides are capable of qualifying. South Africa are not the strongest side and have not produced good form of late, but they are on home soil. France are also on poor form, but they do have experience to make an impact. Uruguay and Mexico are solid, if unspectacular, World Cup sides that are unlikely to embarrass themselves.
It is difficult to predict who can make it out of this group, but it cannot be considered as a “Group of Death”. This is because none of the sides can be considered as “world class”, at the minute, and it is unlikely that any of the sides will progress further than the second round.
Group D
Teams: Germany, Australia, Ghana and Serbia
Germany:
It is always been noted that no-one should underestimate Germany when predicting likely World Cup Finalists. After being unfavoured in the 2002 and 2006 World Cups, Germany reached the semi-final and final. This is in addition to reaching several finals of recent European Championships (being runners-up in 1992 and 2008, and winning the tournament in 1996).
However, Germany can also be inconsistent during tournaments: they flopped in the Euro 2000 and 2004 group stages, and made quarter-final exits in the 1994 and 1998 World Cups.
Under Joachim Low, Germany have followed in the footsteps of predecessor Jurgen Klinsmann by continuing his strand of highly technical attacking football. There, however, have been criticisms of Low’s rigid tactics and they could find themselves unstuck (like they did, as losing finalists, in the Euro 2008 final with Spain) against stronger attacking teams. Germany are likely to have a strong team ethic, however, due to the tragic death of the highly-rated Robert Enke.
It is likely that Germany will progress far in this competition but they could find themselves facing a difficult second round clash – if they do not analyse the strengths of Ghana, Serbia and Australia. It has been shown, in the past, that Germany’s weaknesses can be ruthlessly exposed.
Ghana:
Although the Ivory Coast were seen as the African group to avoid, during the draw, only a fool would be happy to face Ghana. They became the first African side to qualify for the 2010 World Cup, after comfortably winning their qualifying group with style and flair. Boasting a fine midfield in Sulley Muntari, Stephen Appiah and Michael Essien, Ghana should not enter this group in fear.
Although they face a difficult group, Ghana progressed into the second round in the 2006 World Cup after facing an equally difficult group. Despite losing to eventual winners Italy, Ghana produced excellent victories over the much-fancied Czech Republic and United States to qualify for the second round from Group E. If Essien maintains his form as Ghana’s lynch-pin, they have the ideal opportunity to progress again in a very competitive group.
Serbia:
Similarly, it be foolish to write Serbia off after their fine form in the past 18 months and they could be one of the surprise packages this summer. Although the presence of Manchester United defender Nemanja Vidic is a necessity for Serbia, if they are to repeat their defensive displays during the 2006 World Cup qualifiers (as Serbia and Montenegro they conceded only one goal and finished above Euro 2008 winners Spain), they have built a renaissance during the past year with a focus on free-flowing attacking football.
As well as topping their qualifying group (which included France), they notched up several excellent victories over tough opponents including South Korea, Austria (twice), Sweden, Bulgaria (a 6-1 rout) and Romania (a 5-0 thrasing).
Serbia have built this success by effectively utilising an attacking midfield that is full of goals – including the likes of Milan Jovanovic, Dejan Stankovic, Milos Krasic and Nenad Milijas. Striker Danko Lazovic’s excellent form for PSV this season is also something that should worry Serbia’s opponents greatly.
Traditionally, the surprise teams in the World Cup are those that have played creative football with great flair (see Croatia in 1998; South Korea and Turkey in 2002), so it is important not to underestimate Serbia as they increasingly look like a force to be reckoned with. Serbia certainly have the potential to top this group and, if they face the right side in the second round, it would not be a surprise to see them in the latter stages of the competition.
Australia:
Australia could be seen as the least-fancied side in this group, despite the presence of Tim Cahill and Harry Kewell. Although initially struggling in their new Asian qualifying group, due to the change in climate and location, Pim Verbeek’s men eventually qualified for the 2010 World Cup with ease. This was due to a well-organised defence, to the extent of only conceding one goal and remaining unbeaten during the fourth round Asian qualifiers.
Whilst not as technical as the other sides in Group D, Australia will be a hard side to beat and could qualify for the second round if they manage to keep clean sheets. Australia do not look like a side with a lot of goals in them, but they could progress if they utilise their strengths effectively.
The View:
Group D does feel like the “Group of Death”, here, as it will be very difficult to predict who will qualify for the second round. Several shocks are certainly in store as, although Germany will be the favourites to qualify, they need to ensure that Ghana and Serbia do not catch them on the break with their energetic play.
In what promises to be a classic group, Australia could also qualify if they grind out results and frustrate their opponents. The unfancied Australia could be the surprise success of the tournament, as it looks like being a very competitive group.
Group G
Teams: Brazil, Ivory Coast, North Korea, Portugal
Brazil:
Brazil will enter the 2010 World Cup as one of the overwhelming favourites to win the World Cup. This is not surprising, given recent displays. Although coach Dunga has received criticism for not allowing Brazil to play their famed style of free-flowing football, there is no denying that the squad is the most organised it has been for years. The team is strongly balanced in both defence and attack, and the team can counter-attack with devastating effect. They have the ability to close defences down, whilst being able to beat defences at the most unpredictable moment.
They have also proved that they can beat the very best, after comprehensively beating World Cup holders Italy twice, in the past year, as well as Argentina and an under-strength England side (although Brazil were also without key players in this match). Recent results have certainly been most impressive. They are certainly one of the teams to watch and should be the team to beat. It would be one of the great World Cup shocks, if they failed to top this group.
Portugal:
On the other hand, Portugal – also famed for their exciting brand of football – ensured that they qualified the hard way. After finishing second in their qualifying group, in a closely contested fight with Sweden, they emerged victorious against Bosnia in the play-offs to qualify for the World Cup.
Despite their struggle to qualify – which included losing against Denmark, and embarrassing draws at Albania and Estonia (albeit, with an under-strength side) – Portugal have the obvious attacking talents to progress in this competition.
However, Carlos Queiroz needs to ensure that he gets the best out of his players. There certainly has been a lack of team ethic and spirit, with players like Cristiano Ronaldo often playing for themselves rather than the team. This was seen in their draw with Albania.
Queiroz has a reputation of just falling just short of what is required, in his managerial history, and needs to use his coaching qualities to get the team playing together as a team. Otherwise, Portugal could be outplayed by Brazil and Ivory Coast.
Ivory Coast:
Ivory Coast came into the World Cup draw, as the most feared African nation. This is not surprising, seeing that the Ivory Coast are finally looking like the finished article. With a strike force containing Bakari Kone, Aruna Dindane and Abdul Keita, the Ivory Coast are looking like an attacking force to be reckoned with.
Whilst many are tipping Portugal to be competitive in this group, due to the undoubted talents of Cristinao Ronaldo, the Ivory Coast upfront have the in-form Didier Drogba at their disposal. If Drogba can translate his fantastic form for Chelsea, during the World Cup, then he could be the potential player of the tournament. It is still unknown, though, whether Drogba, alone, can fire the talented African side to the latter stages.
Unlike Portugal, the Ivory Coast gelled well as a team during the qualification process. They were unbeaten during qualification and notched up several impressive victories, including 5-0 thrashings of Malawi and Burkina Faso.
If the Ivory Coast can continue their slow improvement, and if Portugal remains as inconsistent as ever, this group could be easy to predict.
North Korea:
The final team in Group G is North Korea. North Korea qualified for the World Cup, after knocking long-time World Cup whipping boys Saudi Arabia out on goal difference. This is following an undistinguished final qualifying round record of three draws, three victories and two defeats.
Whilst Kim Jong-Hun’s side have some talent, and whilst there is a chance of them causing an upset, it seems highly unlikely that North Korea will qualify to the second round – especially when they are facing the likes of Portugal, Brazil and the Ivory Coast. FC Rostov’s Hong Yong-Jo needs to continue his fine goalscoring record of 9 goals in 11 games if North Korea are to make their second foray in the World Cup a success.
The View:
Whilst this group is widely seen as the “Group of Death”, its argument for this is weakened due to the inclusion of North Korea. Generally for a group to be classed as “The Group of Death”, all four teams should have some chance of making it through to the second round. Due to North Korea’s comparable lack of talent to the other sides, qualification seems highly unlikely.
Portugal’s downturn of form, coupled with an ageing squad, makes this group less competitive than it may first seem. Unless Portugal start to play more as a team, their stay in South Africa could be short.
The Overall Verdict
Group A is looking very tight but, considering that France may not be considered as a major contender any more, it is looking far inferior than a “Group of Death” would normally look like. Even if the teams are of equal ability, the absence of a ‘world-class’ side means that Group A is unlikely to be the “Group of Death”.
Group G could also be considered as the “Group of Death”, but this depends on Portugal’s form as it is looking less likely that they will make a big impact this summer. However, like France and Germany in the 2006 World Cup, they may outperform expectations. At the minute, though, Brazil and the Ivory Coast are looking likely candidates to qualify.
All three groups will be closely fought and could be considered as the “Group of Death”, but Group D could well be this summer’s deadliest group. All of the four sides are strong and they all have the potential to make a positive impact – even if Serbia, Ghana and Australia are not massive footballing nations. The “Group of Death” does not look as deadly as it could have been, but this old phrase will not be made redundant this summer.
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